


Welcome to the Ultimate Academy

by ZattoCatto



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: Group chat, Multi, Texting story, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 14:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZattoCatto/pseuds/ZattoCatto
Summary: When Kirumi is trying to welcome you to the Ultimate Academy, people keep interrupting her.





	Welcome to the Ultimate Academy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in June, and found it just now. When I read how bad it was, I decided to post it, for other people to laugh at too.

Danganronpa v3 story

Kirumi Tojo: Hello everyone, my name is Kirumi Tojo and I will be your host today.  
Kokichi Oma changed Kirumi Tojo to Cleaner Lady  
Kokichi Oma: That’s much better  
Kokichi Oma: Hey cleaner lady, can you go clean my room  
Cleaner Lady: Since you are being a brat, and the fact that I am not obliged to clean your room, no I will not go clean your room  
Kokichi Oma: :(  
Cleaner Lady changed Kokichi Oma to Supreme leader but acts like a brat  
Cleaner Lady: There that’s much better  
Cleaner Lady: Now as I was saying, welcome to the Ultimate Academy  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Kirumi I was wondering if you could make spaghetti for lunch tomorrow?  
Cleaner Lady: Ok Tsumugi I will but first let me just get through the tutorial with everyone  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Ok. Yay!  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat changed Tsumugi Shirogane to Noodle liking blob  
Noodle liking blob: Hey! I’m not a blob!  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat: :) That’s what you think…  
Miu Iruma: Ooooohhh this is getting spicy! I love watching virgins fight  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat: Oh yeah I forgot to change your name  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat changed Miu Iruma to Super High School Level Pervert  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat: There that’s more accurate  
Super High School Level Pervert: This is very accurate, thanks Kokichi  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat: You’re welcome  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat: Now to change everyone else’s names ;)  
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat changed Kaede Akamatsu to Noise Maker   
Supreme Leader but acts like a brat changed Shuichi Saihara to Look! I solve problems  
Look! I solve problems: Well that is accurate, but knowing Kokichi it’s actually an insult…  
Noise Maker: That’s true, but my name is most definitely an insult  
Look! I solve problems: Yeah. It’s ok Kaede you’ll always be the most special to me :)  
Noise Maker: Awww that’s so sweet Shuichi! Let’s run away into the sunset and never look back!  
Look! I solve problems: But I need to solve problems…  
Noise Maker: No one likes us anyway. I’m sure they won’t mind if we’re gone.  
Super High School Level Pervert changed Cleaner Lady to Mother  
Super High School Level Pervert: Mother can you please go make some tea, I’m getting thirsty ;)   
Mother: EVERYONE SHUT UP! I’M TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE FRICKING PROLOGUE AND EXPLAIN ALL THE CONTROLS! Sorry about that, everyone just won’t shut up!  
Maki Harukawa: Kirumi, keep your voice down. I’m trying to figure out how to best to kill Kokichi- I mean smile at Kokichi while hating him.  
Mother changed Maki Harukawa to Spring Roll  
Spring Roll: … Kirumi I thought you were one of the good people  
Mother: Sorry wrong person. I just couldn’t help myself when I saw that I was switching your name! You and Kaito are really getting acquainted aren’t you?  
Spring Roll: … Shut up  
Kaito Momota: There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Maki Roll! We’re just friends! Ask Shuichi! He spends more time with Maki than me!  
Look! I solve problems: H-hey! Don’t pin this on me!  
Spring Roll: Stop it. Both of you. I’m going to be quiet now and let Kirumi do whatever she was wanting to do for the past 15 minutes  
Mother changed Himiko Yumeno to Gay from a magical girl anime  
Mother: That’s the thing that I actually wanted to change. Feel free to change your name back Maki.  
Gay from a magical girl anime: … but who do I like?  
Mother changed Tenko Chabashira’s name to Lesbian Feminist  
Mother: That’s who you like! Now I can finally get back to the prologue!  
Mother: As you can see, the Ultimate Academy is full of many interesting people. All of the Ultimates here are a pleasure to be around… even Kokichi.  
Now, what’s your Ultimate Talent?  
Gonta Gokuhara: Gonta’s Ultimate talent is Entomologist. Gonta like bugs. Anyone who hate bugs, Gonta will crush!  
Mother: I made up a little song about everyone in the Academy actually. Here you go!  
Mother (singing): Kaede Akamatsu is the Ultimate Pianist! She loves to play so much, it’s really kinda tragic!  
Noise Maker: Hey!  
Mother: Next up is K1-B0! We call him Kiibo, but that’s because he’s super slow!  
K1-B0: It’s true  
Mother: Next up is Maki Harukawa! She loves all things that have to do with salad!  
Spring Roll: ...Hey that doesn’t rhyme!  
Mother: Right after her the star crossed lover is Kaito Momota! He loves all things to do with space, and likes fizzy soda!  
Kaito Momota: Why did you have to tell them that?  
Mother: Himiko Yumeno! The Ultimate Mage! She’s so awesome that she’s always the star of the stage!  
Gay from a magical girl anime: Bring it on!  
Mother: Rantaro Amami! Let’s not forget about him too! He loves a lot of things, but most of all, avacado soup!  
Rantaro Amami: That’s not even a thing…  
Mother: Ryoma Hoshi! He likes a lot of things, but most of all, he likes Kimchi!  
Ryoma Hoshi: That is actually the most believable thing out of all of this.  
Mother: Next up is me! I’m a pleasure to be around! But don’t get me confused with anyone who makes a sound!


End file.
